Then a dragon came, gobbled up that lady, and spit out this new and improved one.
***
Ever notice that the moment you think you have everything figured out is always directly followed by a moment where you discover that you actually know nothing? Normal people might refer to that season as the "calm before the storm." I think it should also be called the bliss before the ignorance.
Last year I promised that I would blog once a week for a year. I didn't even bat 50%.
Last year I announced that I was returning to work. Well, I've technically been hired by two different companies and don't do any work for either of them.
And with my birthday approaching, I had to reread my post from last year and laugh at the fact that what I figured would be absolute is still wrong.
I don't know if I'm who I'm supposed to be today. And I'm not really sure what "self-identifiers" will mark me next year. But this much I know: I will love Jesus. I will love my family and friends. I will drink wine. I will crack a lot of silly jokes and laugh at a lot of inappropriate ones. I will overdress for almost every occasion. I will be hard on myself. I will be reflective. And I will eat a cheesecake when I turn 29...and probably write a blog about how old I feel the year before my life ends ;)
Don't worry-- I still love people, and fart jokes are still hilarious. However, my lovely body has decided it no longer likes to digest dairy food, and so the birthday cheesecake that I have held so dear for so long will not be coming to the party this year. I don't know who will be taking his place yet. Probably a lame brownie.
(No offense to brownie-lovers. I'm bitter and the wound is still too fresh.)
Obviously, there have been things in my life bigger than my sudden departure with cheesecake. I've had a lot of change-ups thrown at me lately. There were the somewhat "regularly scheduled crazy moments" that you win when you are married to a military man, or while you experience all the joys of motherhood, or for simply being a female with hormonal fluctuations. But our family has really dealt with some unexpected trials this past year too. We still have a lot of unaswered questions that are leaving us in want of solutions. Sometimes, I feel an intense longing to return to the season of bliss I had before I was left feeling so helplessly ignorant--if for no other reason than so I could appreciate it better the next time around.
If someone would have told me that I would not be able to eat cheesecake again after this year, I would have made it a point to eat a lot more of it. It wouldn't have been reserved for special occasions, but rather the occasion would have been made special simply because it was there.
But life isn't like that. It's not predictable. There is only One who knows what your tomorrow holds, and that's why He tells us to rejoice today.
I'm a year older, and while it's debatable if I grew any wiser, I did learn one thing:
Eat your cheeseccake, people. Eat your cheesecake.
