Girl, I Can Explain

I wanted to publicly apologize for my last blog post.

There are some things about it that have been bugging me for like the past 48 hours now, so I figure I better own up to them if I hope to earn back any of my head space.

1. I apologize for my negative tone. There's enough of that on the internet as it is, and we don't need any more of it. I wrote and published that post when I supposed to be making dinner, and I see now that a body should never type out their thoughts on any matter when they are probably more suited to star in a Snickers commercial.
2. I apologize to anyone who I may have unintentionally shamed or insulted for being a fan of Mrs. Hollis. God forbid that something I write might resonate with or encourage you, only for a person to come slap it right out of your heart, hangrily protesting "What has she ever done to deserve to tell you these things?!" I'm sorry if I did that, friend.
3. I apologize to Rachel Hollis, because I am certain she is one of the 37 people who read my last post. She works hard, no doubt. She has a team of people who work just as hard. She's obviously very, very good at what she does, and it was never my intention to suggest otherwise.

It was my intention to make you think about what advice you follow and why, and to remind you that you are just as capable and qualified and important as any influencer with a blue check mark by their name.

I used to think that "social media influencer" was some sort of unofficial descriptor--just a guy or gal with a bunch of followers. It never dawned on me for a second that it was a legitimate job title. But it is--and it's a fast-growing market, friends. Companies small and large are discovering that they can use influencers to sell their products with such high rates of success that some companies are even offering to train people in the "field of influencing," so that they can make the person (and thereby their product) even more profitable. And it's working!!
It's all a crazy, profit-bloated empire being built on the algorithms of our "likes."

No big deal, right? People have been trying to sell us stuff forever. This is no different...And hey, maybe it isn't.

But my hesitation comes from an unsettling feeling that social media influencers don't really think this is what they're doing. I believe that they briefly acknowledge the marketing as a small part of what they do, but they are convinced that the real impact of their online presence is serving the general populous for a greater good. They're not trying to sell us things. They're trying to make a change for the better.

Because of the bombardment of ads, info, and influence coming at us all the time, I feel like the lines between expert and influencer have been blurred. So, how might one spot an influencer?
-They have really generalized goals. If their end goal is to help you "chase your wildest dreams" or "unlock the true, hidden you" or "live your ultimate life with no apologies"...then get ready, because someone is about to tell you how this meal delivery service is a game changer that you can't live without.
-They shot a video of themselves in the car. They just got out of a really important team meeting, conference date, or coffee store errand and they they can't wait to tell you about it.
-Unnecessary selfie. There is a really heartfelt letter to her 10,000 closest friends (and whoever they feel led to share with) that you have to click "expand" on and then scroll down three times to read...captioned by a picture of her taking a giant bite out of a cheeseburger.
-She calls her followers "her tribe." Moms who are late. Moms who are messy. Moms who wear messy buns but not in a cute way (but it's totally cute, because she has a stylist and professional photographer as paid staff on her team...)
Hear me, sister. If you are in a "tribe," then you better darn well know who the chief is.

Silliness aside, these people are not dumb. They are incredibly smart and hard-working. They are paying attention to what is trending and jumping right on to ride the train. They are seeing what gets positive responses, what gets filtered, what gets seen, what gets searched, what gets scrolled, and they build for their client base just like any good business person would do. We're being wooed! But why?
Well, because we=likes=views=more product backing=more money=more notability=more likes...repeat to infinity.
Only that's not what anyone admits is happening. We're saving the world, one cheeseburger photo at a time.

Which brings me to this.
4. I said there were no ill feelings, but there were. Really, truly not toward any person, just in general. I'm mad at the system. But I can't point at the speck without pulling out the post in my own eye.
Maybe you've noticed the link to nowhere on the right side of my page. Maybe you've "liked" it or shared it. Maybe you think that picture of 24-year-old me is what I really still look like. It's all a humbling reminder to me that I would have walked down the same path I'm vilifying and thought I was doing the right thing.
Silly as it sounds, I count it one of the blessings of my life that this failed. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if it had done what I hoped for, I would have built a little "tribe" full of people that I would have banked all my self-worth on, and it would have ripped me apart and spit me out. I would have researched and flow-charted my way into your hearts, if you would have let me, and I would have done whatever I thought was worthy to keep you. I would have become a sellout and not even known I was doing it.
Praise God for failure, friends! It can be a redeeming thing, too. (Anything can, in His hands.)

So there. Now that that's out, maybe I can finally move on to the next right thing--whatever that may be.

Love to all,
Liz

Proverbs 4:23-27 – Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways

Girl, You Are Fine

My mother-in-law buys us a new book for every occasion, and I just love her for it.
Before her gifts, I'm pretty sure that I had not purchased a book for myself to read since ... ever? ... so I can confidently say that if it weren't for my her, the only books on my shelves would have been ones like you'd find in children's section of a community library. She's the person who has single-handedly kept me from feeling like I had to rhyme all the time (it's sublime!) or speak in a funny voice (unless by choice.) (And yes, I think I'm amusing. lol)
She sends me a plethora of genres because I don't know exactly what I like--or maybe I just like everything. Sometimes I plow right through them and sometimes they sit on my shelf for a bit. Today I stumbled across one that she sent me a couple years ago that had somehow escaped its turn to be read, so I pulled it from its hiding place on the shelf and curled up on the couch with it and my hot cocoa, expecting to slip into literary bliss.

Maybe y'all have already read this one. It's Rachel Hollis's "Girl, Stop Apologizing," her follow-up work to her wildly successful, "Girl, Wash your Face."

Here are some things I need to tell you before I move on:
-I have not read "Girl, Wash your Face."
-With that title and her massive following, I totally and completely 100% thought that Rachel Hollis was one of the ladies who founded Rodan and Fields. (And who I am just now realizing must actually be named Rodan or Fields. Lord, help me. HAHAHAHA!)
-I have only just now 20 minutes ago finished reading the intro to "Girl, Stop Apologizing," so my knowledge about this book is ridiculously limited, but my opinions are rising and spilling out of me to the point that I felt I needed to share these next thoughts with you...


Sweet Rachel Hollis--for whom I have absolutely ZERO ill feelings so please don't mistake me in this--is, according to my Google search, a small town girl who became an aspiring actress---> who failed at acting and began an event planning agency---> who found that blogging was perhaps more lucrative and so started a recipe blog--->which led to her making a couple cookbooks that probably not many people had heard of until--->SHE POSTED A STORY ABOUT HER STRETCHMARKS THAT WENT VIRAL ON INSTAGRAM--->so she became a self-help mogul, building a multi-million dollar company as a best-selling author, renowned speaker, and an expert in the field of self care. (And with nary a face soap of her creation in sight. lol)

You guys. We are giving online influencers like Rachel--again, I harbor ZERO ill feelings--SO.FREAKING.MUCH. of our time and money and trust and ourselves by implementing their ideals into our daily lives. And why? To what credit? Because she's discovered the secret to success and happiness and self-love? NO!
Because we liked the bathing suit photo she took of herself, and it went viral.

(I don't want to undersell her efforts here, because as a blogger/business woman, obviously she was very savvy to capitalize on the momentum of that post and work hard to see it through to fruition--and to that I say well done.)

But the point I'm trying to make here is that many of us follow this woman and don't really know why. We assume that she knows more than us or better than us, and it's highly likely she doesn't. She's touted as an expert in the field and so we just believe that she is. She's one of the most sought-after motivational speakers of our time.
A woman with merely two more years of life lived than yours truly.
Wiser women are among us, friends. (Seriously, ZERO hard feelings, just extremely probable musings.)

I'm sure that the fame-inducing photo had to be published online at the exact moment of a convergence of lightening, because I personally know many people--some who are reading this post right now-- who have said things that are just as valuable. Just as smart. Just as moving. Just as witty. Just as true.
To be sure, success absolutely requires hard work, but crazy Princess Di stories like Rachel's often take off with a magic bullet of lucky timing...and you just can't write a self-help book about that.


Now I really am optimistic I'll find some helpful gems awaiting me in this book that I will mull over or consider putting into practice. In fact, I'm even a little hopeful for it. But I really feel like we need to look at modern day influencers with an eye of wariness.

And then perhaps our own selves with a bit (or a boatload) more credit.

Because girl, you are fine. You're just waiting on your lightning to strike.


*insert bathing suit photo here*
;)

James 3:17-18 English Standard Version (ESV)
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.