Six days down; thirty-four to go.
The first five days focused on loving God. Now we are moving on to loving our "neighbors."
I have only recently begun to understand how wonderful and helpful neighbors can be. Acting "neighborly" was a term that always escaped me, mainly because people just really don't talk to their neighbors that much anymore. We might give a friendly wave as we are backing out the driveway at the same time or maybe a "good morning" tossed around here or there, but I doubt I would be the only one to say I hardly spoke to my neighbors. Then we moved onto post and all of that changed. I now know that neighbors can be awesome! Someone you have never met will welcome you into your home because you've been locked out of your house. You are invited over for playdates, dinners, and parties. I know that all I have to do is knock on someone's door, say "Hi, I'm your neighbor. Can you help me?" and they will. There is a wonderful feeling of togetherness and community on post. We are all part of the same team, we are all going through similar struggles, and it is easy to offer help to each other.
But of course, when God said "love your neighbor as yourself," He wasn't just talking about my physical neighbors--he meant all people. And unfortunately, all people are not as awesome as my neighbors-- or else this commandment would be a piece of cake.
So there you have it. Love everyone. Easy enough, right? Easy to grasp, maybe, but not so easy to do--in fact, pretty impossible. What I realized today is that it is not enough to "get along" with people. God didn't say, "Tolerate your neighbors..." He said to LOVE them.
Hey now, God. I don't know how I feel about that. You see, if You are telling me that I have to love everyone, then I have to love:
-That driver that keeps trying to run me over on the interstate
-That hoity-toity person that keeps cutting in front of me in the line at the grocery store
-The haggler at the yard sale that offends me by offering $10 for something I paid $200 for
-The punk that sold me something for $200 that I only should have paid $10 for
-The chick that is wearing the same outfit better than me
-The other person that got the job I really wanted
-The bold-faced liar
-The thief
-The person that brags about themselves all the time
-The bully on the playground who pushed my precious baby, and the mom that saw him do it and didn't say anything
-The person who unapologetically tramples over everyone and everything to get what they want
It would take A LOT of work, but I could maybe manage that. But surely, God, you don't mean EVERYONE, when you say everyone, because then I would have to love:
-A group of people who protest at funerals of military service members who have fallen in combat, and who make me ashamed that they proclaim to be a "church" (and a Baptist one at that.)
-Child molesters
-Child abductors
-Sexual abusers
-Murderers
-People who celebrate that planes crashed into buildings full of innocent people and are planting explosives and shooting guns at my husband and his buddies.
I don't know about all that, God. My heart is not big enough to love these people.
Here is what the book had to say:
"God's love is an everyone/everywhere/all the time" kind of love; human love is a "some people/some places/some of the time" kind of love. Some of us are better than others at human love, but none of us are able to express God's kind of love in our own power. That's the point. God wants us to depend on Him for the power to love. So He challenges us to love in a way we can only accomplish through daily dependence on His power." (Holladay, 69)
I guess what I came to accept after reading this is that I am not perfect. Yet God continues to love me unconditionally. I know I am not worthy of the kind of love He shows me all the time. But He gives it to me because He is the Father and I am his child. When I accepted Christ into my life, I vowed to strive to be more like Him in every way. Therefore, I should strive to love like He does--To love people in spite of their imperfections and in spite of their transgressions against me.
So yes, I will work to have a more loving heart toward everyone. But I think I will begin with the "everyone's" closer to the top of my list...
Friday, October 14, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Day 5- Mind and Strength
We are told to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30)
The past two days the book focused on the heart and the soul. Today mind and strength were squished into the same chapter. My guess is because it takes almost all your strength to love the Lord with all your mind.
I know that such is the case for my mind...
I told a friend today that I think my body is physically displaying the inner feelings I won't let myself express. Since Nathan has left, I have hardly been able to sleep, though my body is completely exhausted. The added stress and lack of sleep has caused my face to break out worse than any teenage girl I have ever seen. And I have dealt with another medical issue I do not care to share publicly, though my momma knows what I'm talking about because I must have called her ten times to ask her questions about it...oh, how I love "Dr. Mom!" :)
I can fake strong to anybody. I can be nothing but supportive when I see that someone else is hurting. I can carry on a casual conversation and laugh heartily and give a genuine smile. But don't let that fool you about the worries that are truly on my mind: My husband is gone. I miss him terribly. I wonder why we call it a deployment when we really should just say "gone to war." I wonder if he will come home safely. I wonder if his buddies will come home safely. I wonder what we would do if we lost one of them. I wonder how I will be able to hold down the fort when he is away. I wonder if I will be able to take care of my fellow-spouses when they need my help even if I am knee-deep in my own dilemmas. I wonder if my face is ever going to clear up. I wonder if that is what everyone is looking at when I talk to them. I wonder if Nathan is going to notice it when he gets back and think I am ugly. I wonder if all of my late night snacks are going to make me fat. I wonder about how I can squeeze a jog into my already jam-packed day so I don't get fat. I wonder what I am going to cook for dinner. I wonder if it is okay to have poptarts for dinner, because the kids hardly ever eat what I cook them anyway...
Go away you NEGATIVE, UGLY thoughts!
Today, the book challenged us with this verse:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)
So here I go!
Whatever is true: The book says these are things you can depend on in life.--
True, lasting love. I love my husband. My husband loves me. God tells me that "love never fails" (1 Cor 13:8)
Whatever is noble: The books describes this as focusing on the godliness of common things.--
A pleasant conversation. Today I had the opportunity to talk to my daughter about salvation through Christ. We were listening to Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home" and Sammi asked me why Carrie was sad. I told her she was a little sad because someone was dying, but she was also a little happy because after he died, he was going to be with Jesus. I told her that if we ask Jesus to live in our hearts, we get to be with Him in heaven after we die. Sammi said, "Jesus lives with me in my heart. I took Him with me tonight to eat hot dogs and cake." :)
Whatever is right: The book says if you are acting according to the will of God, you are doing what's right.--
Volunteering. Galatians 6:2 says "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Yesterday I offered to help my new FRG by volunteering to fill one of the many open key caller positions. I know how burdensome an FRG can be at any level...so I am going to help for better or for worse!
Whatever is pure: The book says pureness is on par with holiness.--
Babies. There is nothing more innocent, perfect, or pure than a newborn baby. We are all created in the image of our God, and newborn babies are God's latest and greatest masterpieces. I have been surrounded by so many of them lately, and I love it. (Though my husband probably doesn't because it is giving me the baby fever like crazy!)
Whatever is lovely: The book says to translate lovely as "enjoyable."--
The moon. I have been taking the kids outside to play after supper every night and with winter weather around the corner, we are often greeted by shorter days and the setting sun. Jack's new favorite thing to do is to spot the moon when day turns into night. He calls the moon the "night night" :) Lately, the "night night" has been so bright and round and full. We spend a good half hour swinging in the swings of our backyard playground and marveling at the moon.
Whatever is admirable: The book says this is "something you admire in others that is worthy of talking about."--
Sacrifice. I mentioned this on Facebook yesterday, but I is definitely admirable enough to think about again, in my opinion. My husband and I have been very, very, EXTREMELY fortunate to be able to talk on Skype several days a week. (I do not take for granted for a second how lucky we are to get to do this.) After missing our chat time for the last several days, I was very much looking forward to getting to talk to my husband online...really talk to him...hear his voice...see his face. But when I jumped onto the computer to log on I was greeted by this email: "Well, its going to be one more night without talking on skype. Got one of the young Soldiers from Alpha here. His wife is having their first baby today. She was induced this morning at 0900 El Paso time. They dropped him this morning from one of the small COP's. Right now he's in my room on my computer skyping with his wife in the delivery room. Figured that is definitely a sacrifice I can make . . . one night of not being able to talk to my beautiful family so that he can watch his child be born. I love you babe - tomorrow - I promise. Can't wait to see you, goober and the little man again." I love this man so much more than I could ever say...there is so much to admire about him.
If anything is excellent: The book calls this motivation by God's greatness.--
A Hymn. "The splendor of the King, clothed in majesty. Let all the earth rejoice-All the earth rejoice.
He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide. And trembles at His voice-Trembles at His voice.
How great is our God, sing with me. How great is our God, and all will see. How great, how great is our God!"
If anything is praiseworthy: The book says this is celebrating the goodness of what God is doing.--
Right Now. I am not sure exactly how or when it happened, but by the end of writing this, I am feeling happy and at peace. (I hope you are too!) Hooray for the power of positive thinking!
...I think I shall go to bed now and try to sleep :)
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:29-30
The past two days the book focused on the heart and the soul. Today mind and strength were squished into the same chapter. My guess is because it takes almost all your strength to love the Lord with all your mind.
I know that such is the case for my mind...
I told a friend today that I think my body is physically displaying the inner feelings I won't let myself express. Since Nathan has left, I have hardly been able to sleep, though my body is completely exhausted. The added stress and lack of sleep has caused my face to break out worse than any teenage girl I have ever seen. And I have dealt with another medical issue I do not care to share publicly, though my momma knows what I'm talking about because I must have called her ten times to ask her questions about it...oh, how I love "Dr. Mom!" :)
I can fake strong to anybody. I can be nothing but supportive when I see that someone else is hurting. I can carry on a casual conversation and laugh heartily and give a genuine smile. But don't let that fool you about the worries that are truly on my mind: My husband is gone. I miss him terribly. I wonder why we call it a deployment when we really should just say "gone to war." I wonder if he will come home safely. I wonder if his buddies will come home safely. I wonder what we would do if we lost one of them. I wonder how I will be able to hold down the fort when he is away. I wonder if I will be able to take care of my fellow-spouses when they need my help even if I am knee-deep in my own dilemmas. I wonder if my face is ever going to clear up. I wonder if that is what everyone is looking at when I talk to them. I wonder if Nathan is going to notice it when he gets back and think I am ugly. I wonder if all of my late night snacks are going to make me fat. I wonder about how I can squeeze a jog into my already jam-packed day so I don't get fat. I wonder what I am going to cook for dinner. I wonder if it is okay to have poptarts for dinner, because the kids hardly ever eat what I cook them anyway...
Go away you NEGATIVE, UGLY thoughts!
Today, the book challenged us with this verse:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)
So here I go!
Whatever is true: The book says these are things you can depend on in life.--
True, lasting love. I love my husband. My husband loves me. God tells me that "love never fails" (1 Cor 13:8)
Whatever is noble: The books describes this as focusing on the godliness of common things.--
A pleasant conversation. Today I had the opportunity to talk to my daughter about salvation through Christ. We were listening to Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home" and Sammi asked me why Carrie was sad. I told her she was a little sad because someone was dying, but she was also a little happy because after he died, he was going to be with Jesus. I told her that if we ask Jesus to live in our hearts, we get to be with Him in heaven after we die. Sammi said, "Jesus lives with me in my heart. I took Him with me tonight to eat hot dogs and cake." :)
Whatever is right: The book says if you are acting according to the will of God, you are doing what's right.--
Volunteering. Galatians 6:2 says "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Yesterday I offered to help my new FRG by volunteering to fill one of the many open key caller positions. I know how burdensome an FRG can be at any level...so I am going to help for better or for worse!
Whatever is pure: The book says pureness is on par with holiness.--
Babies. There is nothing more innocent, perfect, or pure than a newborn baby. We are all created in the image of our God, and newborn babies are God's latest and greatest masterpieces. I have been surrounded by so many of them lately, and I love it. (Though my husband probably doesn't because it is giving me the baby fever like crazy!)
Whatever is lovely: The book says to translate lovely as "enjoyable."--
The moon. I have been taking the kids outside to play after supper every night and with winter weather around the corner, we are often greeted by shorter days and the setting sun. Jack's new favorite thing to do is to spot the moon when day turns into night. He calls the moon the "night night" :) Lately, the "night night" has been so bright and round and full. We spend a good half hour swinging in the swings of our backyard playground and marveling at the moon.
Whatever is admirable: The book says this is "something you admire in others that is worthy of talking about."--
Sacrifice. I mentioned this on Facebook yesterday, but I is definitely admirable enough to think about again, in my opinion. My husband and I have been very, very, EXTREMELY fortunate to be able to talk on Skype several days a week. (I do not take for granted for a second how lucky we are to get to do this.) After missing our chat time for the last several days, I was very much looking forward to getting to talk to my husband online...really talk to him...hear his voice...see his face. But when I jumped onto the computer to log on I was greeted by this email: "Well, its going to be one more night without talking on skype. Got one of the young Soldiers from Alpha here. His wife is having their first baby today. She was induced this morning at 0900 El Paso time. They dropped him this morning from one of the small COP's. Right now he's in my room on my computer skyping with his wife in the delivery room. Figured that is definitely a sacrifice I can make . . . one night of not being able to talk to my beautiful family so that he can watch his child be born. I love you babe - tomorrow - I promise. Can't wait to see you, goober and the little man again." I love this man so much more than I could ever say...there is so much to admire about him.
If anything is excellent: The book calls this motivation by God's greatness.--
A Hymn. "The splendor of the King, clothed in majesty. Let all the earth rejoice-All the earth rejoice.
He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide. And trembles at His voice-Trembles at His voice.
How great is our God, sing with me. How great is our God, and all will see. How great, how great is our God!"
If anything is praiseworthy: The book says this is celebrating the goodness of what God is doing.--
Right Now. I am not sure exactly how or when it happened, but by the end of writing this, I am feeling happy and at peace. (I hope you are too!) Hooray for the power of positive thinking!
...I think I shall go to bed now and try to sleep :)
"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:29-30
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Day 4-Love the Lord With All Your Soul
Before I dive too much into today's topic, I wanted to recap on last night. In last night's blog, I ranted about how I didn't want to pray to God out loud because I thought it would make me feel uncomfortable. All the while as I was writing, this tiny voice kept telling me, "You can't say you don't like something you've never tried." (A statement I have spoken to my children at more dinner times than I can count.) So choosing not to become a hypocritical parent, I went ahead and prayed out loud. I believe the first words out of my mouth were, "Dear God, I am so sorry that I am making this so awkward..." I think He forgave me. ;)
I am glad that I tried the exercise, though I am not sold on this form of prayer. However, I think I managed to grasp the bigger lesson in it: praying with your heart is more meaningful than praying with your head.
So moving onward...
Today's lesson focused on loving the Lord with your soul. Yesterday I said that the author translated soul into decisions. Today he expounded a little more on this translation and said that your soul is your "will to decide...the passion with which you are living...your personality." I think I like these descriptions better.
Tonight the part of the topic that struck me most is when Holladay talked about loving God personally. He explains that since God has given us all unique personalities, we will all show our love for God in unique ways.
This especially spoke to me, because I do not always fit in with everyone else at our church's worship service. I love to sing. In fact, it might be one of my top 5 favorite things to do in life. I used to be in the church choir, and for multiple reasons (mainly the birth of my son and the driving distance to church) I have had to step down from it. Though my experience in the choir were almost completely enjoyable, I had a few moments that made me pretty uncomfortable.
To name a few...
-I love to sing words. But I don't always understand the oooohhhh lalalalas whoa whoa's that come along with it. Especially in worship songs. Good for karaoke maybe, but not good to try to have a congregation of people follow along with. Every time we did those, and even now, I am one of the few that doesn't join in.
-I am not a clapper. I am a foot-tapper, head-bobber, and sometimes side-to-side shaker if the music is hitting me right. I cannot do forced clapping to the beat. It doesn't feel authentic to me. I especially don't like when "clapping games" are implemented during worship songs. Some people are really into it, and good for them! But I am always the odd duck standing still when the clapping begins.
-Once, during a Christmas program, the choir sang "Silent Night." Cool. I'm down with that. Then, out of nowhere, the choir director has us sing a verse in Spanish. (Here's where I should probably explain that I am living in El Paso for those who didn't already know that.) Took some German in high school and college. I know absolutely zero Spanish. So here I am, trying to "read" the words on the screen which doesn't help at all if you don't know the phonetics of a language. So with the microphone hanging in front of my face and a crowd full of people staring at me, I continued to sing the song the only way I knew how: auf Englisch. I was pretty mortified in the moment, felt a little guilty after the moment,(would people think I was refusing to sing in Spanish?) and decided after the moment was over that it probably would have been a better idea to not sing at all during that part.
So what am I able to gather from all this after today's lesson: I don't always clap, or sing oooo-nananana, or follow the exact words on the screen, or even pray out loud, but I do love my God. And as long as He knows that, I guess I shouldn't worry if I'm doing what everyone else is suggesting.
Sha-lalala- skibbity bibbity- mmm bop! (Sorry, guess I had a couple more of those in my system!)
I am glad that I tried the exercise, though I am not sold on this form of prayer. However, I think I managed to grasp the bigger lesson in it: praying with your heart is more meaningful than praying with your head.
So moving onward...
Today's lesson focused on loving the Lord with your soul. Yesterday I said that the author translated soul into decisions. Today he expounded a little more on this translation and said that your soul is your "will to decide...the passion with which you are living...your personality." I think I like these descriptions better.
Tonight the part of the topic that struck me most is when Holladay talked about loving God personally. He explains that since God has given us all unique personalities, we will all show our love for God in unique ways.
This especially spoke to me, because I do not always fit in with everyone else at our church's worship service. I love to sing. In fact, it might be one of my top 5 favorite things to do in life. I used to be in the church choir, and for multiple reasons (mainly the birth of my son and the driving distance to church) I have had to step down from it. Though my experience in the choir were almost completely enjoyable, I had a few moments that made me pretty uncomfortable.
To name a few...
-I love to sing words. But I don't always understand the oooohhhh lalalalas whoa whoa's that come along with it. Especially in worship songs. Good for karaoke maybe, but not good to try to have a congregation of people follow along with. Every time we did those, and even now, I am one of the few that doesn't join in.
-I am not a clapper. I am a foot-tapper, head-bobber, and sometimes side-to-side shaker if the music is hitting me right. I cannot do forced clapping to the beat. It doesn't feel authentic to me. I especially don't like when "clapping games" are implemented during worship songs. Some people are really into it, and good for them! But I am always the odd duck standing still when the clapping begins.
-Once, during a Christmas program, the choir sang "Silent Night." Cool. I'm down with that. Then, out of nowhere, the choir director has us sing a verse in Spanish. (Here's where I should probably explain that I am living in El Paso for those who didn't already know that.) Took some German in high school and college. I know absolutely zero Spanish. So here I am, trying to "read" the words on the screen which doesn't help at all if you don't know the phonetics of a language. So with the microphone hanging in front of my face and a crowd full of people staring at me, I continued to sing the song the only way I knew how: auf Englisch. I was pretty mortified in the moment, felt a little guilty after the moment,(would people think I was refusing to sing in Spanish?) and decided after the moment was over that it probably would have been a better idea to not sing at all during that part.
So what am I able to gather from all this after today's lesson: I don't always clap, or sing oooo-nananana, or follow the exact words on the screen, or even pray out loud, but I do love my God. And as long as He knows that, I guess I shouldn't worry if I'm doing what everyone else is suggesting.
Sha-lalala- skibbity bibbity- mmm bop! (Sorry, guess I had a couple more of those in my system!)
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