On Stacks

My son is a tiny engineer. His favorite game in the whole world right now is "stack." He will stack anything. (Blocks, legos, books, crackers and chicken nuggets.)
Occasionally, he will try to stack things that negate the laws of physics. Most of the time, these attempts don't pan out. (Balls, crayons, Barbie dolls--sorry son.) But every once in a while, he will work something out that totally surprises me, like the time he managed to stack an empty 2 liter onto an empty milk jug.
Tonight as I watched my son attempt to "stack" lego towers on top of his sister's head, I began thinking about how my life has been stacking up for me lately.

I tend to pile a lot of responsibilities onto my plate at the same time. As if taking care of house and home with my two preschoolers while my husband is deployed wasn't enough, I still hold volunteer positions for two different organizations, and I wouldn't be opposed to taking on another. My weekdays are usually booked pretty solid with the kids' classes, errands, playdates, and meetings, and it looks like I will be using my weekends to check off the items on my New Year's Resolution list :)
Call it hasty, overzealous, or whatever you like...I just like to be busy, and I have a really hard time sitting still.

However, I have watched my "towers" topple over after I've stacked them too high. Take, for instance, this holiday season. I was trying so hard to give the kids a happy Christmas even though Daddy was gone that I turned into one of the Who characters from the Dr. Suess stories---Crazy Lou-Who, if you will. I did more baking than I've ever done in years past. I made cocoa from scratch on several occasions, something I've never done *even once* while my husband was home. I decorated the entire house inside and out (fun putting it up...not so much taking it down.) And I planned a three week trip back to my hometown in Dallas--three weeks away from home with two small children: NOT RECOMMENDED.
I cannot tell you how many times I broke into tears last month trying to create "happy" Christmas memories. We all survived this Christmas-on-steroids, but I think in the future I will scale it down a bit.

I've also seen myself attempt to pile things up that negate the laws of physics, and therefore, hardly get off the ground. My semi-recent failure as an FRG leader and grad student with a newborn baby is a testament to that.

And once in a blue moon, I surprise myself at what I can keep standing. I still can't believe that I completed my degree right after having Sammi. (It is often the crowning acheivement I reflect on when I'm feeling down about myself.) I was also initially really worried about how I would handle this first deployment. And while there have been a few shaky moments, overall I'm holding steady :)

Sometimes it's not even the fault of the builder, you know. It amazes me what I've been able to keep standing despite all of the outside elements trying to knock it down...It makes you wonder how we are even able to get things to stack up in the first place!

With all of the variants that come into play when talking about construction, it seems to me, your stack only has a standing chance if it is built on a solid foundation.

That's why I'm grateful that I found the rock.

Yesterday I revealed to you my New Year's resolutions. Let me tell you right now, as of yet I cannot play guitar, I did not sing karaoke, I have not run a marathon, I still owe a large sum of money on my student loan, I have not entered a BHG recipe contest (first one due on the 24th--burgers and pies,) and I have not taken a vacation with my husband. I should also let you know that I almost did not sit down to write this blog today, I was on Facebook for at least half an hour, I didn't yell as much as I wanted to (but I did succumb to the urge a couple of times today,) and I went to a birthday party and a dear friend had me over for dinner--so I probably didn't do so well in the junk food department.

I did drink a lot more water today, so that's something, I guess.

I know that, realistically, no one would expect me to have any major updates to share. But I have to admit, I did feel a little disappointed in myself that I didn't. I think that growing up in an age of instant gratification, I just expect things to magically happen for me right away. Where the heck is a Staples button when you need one?!

And since I have begun admitting things...

Does anybody else ever feel like they're competing with everyone to acheive their resolutions first, or is that just a "me issue?" My entire Newsfeed at one point in the day was chock-full of people owning up to their claims to workout more, or lose weight, or maintain their blog... and all I could think about was "Man, am I a slacker! It's 9:30 in the morning and I have yet to hit the gym or upload a bunch of pictures to my blog. And I'm pretty sure that I have gained 5 pounds in the last three weeks--not lost them!" Watching everyone else step up their game should motivate me, and it does a bit, but I have to say it also makes me feel a little disappointed in myself that I can't keep up.
Tomorrow I think my status update will read: Had a great, creamy, sugary cup of coffee this morning. Went perfectly with my cheese danish. Geared up and ready to sit on my butt and watch The Wiggles with my munchkins.
...Yep, that one's a keeper.

So in sum, day 2 into my 2012 journey, I am still the same old me--only slightly more hydrated.

New Year

Happy 2012--how the heck did it get here so fast?!

It has been a long while (nearing a month!)since I last wrote, so I figured now was as good a time as any for a fresh start.

I love the idea of New Year's. A new year--a starting point for a new adventure. Some people might even argue that it's a chance to start over completely--out with the old, in with the new. Whatever the case may be, I will be the first to jump on that bandwagon. If nothing else, I like the idea of making an effort to better myself. Many people make a (meaning one single) New Year's resolution. Weeks ago, I created a document entitled "Resolutions" that I saved to my desktop, and I have been listing out my New Year's resolutions as they've come to me.

Here's what I've got:

-Learn to play guitar: I've wanted to do this since I was sixteen. Aside from my family, there is little else that I love more in this world than music. I will sing anywhere--in fact, today, I caught myself singing aloud in the Commissary, and it was not a quiet hum. I was unknowingly singing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" in front of the Oscar Mayer deli meats like I was a karaoke rockstar. I only became aware of my volume when the lady a couple aisles over from me joined in at the chorus. (True story...I wish I was lying!!) I would love to be able to play guitar so I can tame the crazy song bird in me :)

-Sing karaoke: Because I've never done it, because I have always been too chicken to do it, because it looks like fun, and because I feel like I should probably sing to something other than my shower wall or my steering wheel--lest I should unknowingly bust out in song at another embarrassing venue.

-Run a marathon: Everyone has their exercise goals...and I am no different. I have always been fairly good at trying to keep up a regular exercise regimen. That being said, I still have areas where I would like to improve. Since running is my go-to workout, I figured it would be a good idea to set a practical goal to aim for. I will start with a 5K and would like to try a half marathon. My uncle just completed his first full-marathon last year, and I have to admit that if I see another picture of him running the marathon, I might just be motivated to keep up with that old man :)

-Pay off student loan: There is nothing more frustrating for me than to pay money at the beginning of every month for my education. Don't get me wrong...I am so proud of myself that I got my degree and am happy that I have it. But it is a huge kick in the pants to know that I'm still paying for something that I started buying nearly eight years ago. (Wow. That just made me feel old.) Time to pay off this debt and start putting that money into an account for something more practical---like a motorcycle. (lol)

-Enter BHG recipe contests: I am by no means an award-winning cook. Truth be told, I've only recently began cooking things that I would feel comfortable serving my friends. But being the BHG junkie that I am, I always dog-ear the pages for the prize-tested recipe contests and think, "I should try this!" Of course, I never have. But I am going to this year! If nothing else, I will be getting more creative in the kitchen--I might even get lucky once and come up with a winner...maybe...perhaps...probably not, but I'm gonna do it anyway!

-Vacation alone with my husband: Once we survive our first deployment, I don't think a person in the world would argue that we don't deserve some time alone for ourselves. Nothing too fancy or too long. Just an opportunity to reconnect and take care of ourselves for a change. (Not that we don't love taking care of our munchkins just as much!)

-Blog more: Blogging has been a wonderful release for me. I have always enjoyed writing, but I've never been particularly dedicated to it. (Grad school nearly sucked the will to write right out of me!) I started this blog on a whim, and I am so glad that I had that one night where I couldn't go to sleep after watching Julie and Julia :) It has given me an opportunity for quiet reflection and a chance to clear out all of the thoughts that get jumbled up in my head each day. It's like a diary that I share with my friends, (and perhaps even total strangers) but I really dig that other people can identify with and relate to my simple musings. I especially like to know that I can make people laugh at my misfortunes...it gives me an opportunity to laugh at them as well. If I've never said it before, thank you for caring about what goes on in my head enough to read this. I resolve to make this a more prevalent part of my 2012.

-FB less: Not that I won't Facebook ever, but if I had a nickel for every wasted minute I spent on that site...I would have a lot of nickels...possibly enough to pay off my student loan...

-Yell less: My son and daughter should be able to hold me to this resolution...or bring about it's demise. Time will tell.

-Drink more water: I have had this one on my yearly to-do list for about 4 years running and I always fall back into the coke habit. Well, not this year, buddy! I will be pushing for H2O like I'm the Water Boy.

-Eat less junk: Because if I'm doing the water thing, I should probably go full-circle with the food thing. That and I really don't like when my kids fight over who gets to eat the last Dorito that they found on the floor...

-Enjoy life more: Today I woke up with Montgomery Gentry's "Lucky Man" playing in my head. (It's like my country version of "This is the day that the Lord has made.") He's got a line in there that says, "Even my bad days ain't that bad"...and I know that's the case with me. I complain when appliances break or when my preschoolers...act their age. But there are so many moments in my life where I am able to think about just how lucky I am to be where I'm at and all of the great things that have come out of my sometimes-not-so-great decisions/attitude/actions. I've been given a pretty fair hand, and I just want to play my cards right. (And I think completing the resolutions on this list will do well to aide me in reaching this one.)

So there they are. I think it would be cool to try to document a few of these resolutions on the blog as the year goes on to track my progress. And if I don't, feel free to yell at me. Everyone needs an accountability partner. And let me know if you want me to yell at you to help you keep yours...oh wait. I'm supposed to start yelling less... :)