Farewell to Diet Coke

So one of my New Year's resolutions was to try to drink more water. As I have made the attempt to commit to that resolution I have stumbled upon a certain truth...If there is coke available to drink, I will not choose water over coke. So rather than kick myself for my own lack of self-control, I have decided to remove the obstacle that stands in my way.

But in this die-hard country fan's mind, every hard good-bye deserves a song. And I thought, if Toby Keith can make one about a red solo cup, why can't I make one about my diet coke?! (Boy, do I ever have too much time on my hands! Nathan, come home soon. Come home real, REAL soon.)

So without further ado, (or much ado about nothing, dealer's choice,) here goes:

(ps. If I could play guitar and sing this for you, I totally would. lol)
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So sweet Diet Coke, you’ve long been my friend
But sooner or later it just had to end
And lately it has come to my attention
That you are making me fat.

Sweet Diet Coke, you’re way too addictive
The headaches you cause need medication (prescriptive)
Your acid’s eating my bones; I call that vindictive
Diet Coke, you can kiss my a**. Woo!

Sweet Diet Coke
You have to go.
Please leave the party. Please leave the party.
I love you sweet Diet Coke. But you have to go.
Just leave the party. Yeah leave the party.

Now I really love how you bubble and fizz
But you see, Diet Coke, the simple truth is
If I needed a fix I could just drink a smidge…
…a glass…no, a case of beer.

But I have to admit I’ll sure miss that sound
When I pop the top and chug those first few gulps down
And your color---yes, the sweet amber brown
--No wait, that’s also my beer.

Sweet Diet Coke
You have to go.
Please leave the party. Please leave the party.
I love you sweet Diet Coke. But you have to go.
Just leave the party. Yeah leave the party.

Now I've tasted your zero and tasted your lime
And cherry and vanilla, from time to time
But you cannot seduce me; you can’t change my mind
Diet Coke, we are through

Sweet Diet Coke, please understand
This isn’t forever; we will meet again
With an occasional burger or pizza—but then:
I might reserve you for mixings with whiskey... or rum... or coconut rum...Who am I kidding? Can I please get another beer?


Sweet Diet Coke
You have to go.
Please leave the party. Please leave the party.
I love you sweet Diet Coke. But you have to go.
Just leave the party. Yeah leave the party.