Minding the Gap

I completed a half marathon run on the first week of June.
Today, I ran for the very first time since moving to Alaska.

In other words, I ran 13.1 miles and then didn't run again--even a little, even at all--for TEN WEEKS.



Moving from Texas to Alaska this summer has kept me really busy. Between the 4,000+ mile relocation, the two entire months that our stuff was M.I.A., battling the normal summer-break-lack-of-schedule element in a brand new place, and trying to keep up with everyday, ordinary life has kept me from hitting the pavement.
Well, all of that, and the fear of getting stomped on by a moose.

As you can imagine, there is not a whole heck of a lot here in interior Alaska. In fact, that is kind of its whole charm. But this lack of infrastructure can cause quite a snag in the training schedule of a girl who is used to running the beautifully manicured, lighted, and well-marked trails of the Austin parks system. No matter how much I missed it, I just couldn't psych myself up to go for a run out here.
What if I get hurt in the middle of nowhere? (There's actually no emergency services where I live.)
What if I get lost?
What if I get too fatigued?
Seriously, THE MOOSE THING!!

Today was the first time I ran in ten weeks, yes. But because the questions above had me chickening out, it was also the first time I ran on a treadmill in five years. Five.

(I'll let you guess how it went...)


I don't know why I'm wired the way I am, but I have a really hard time remembering that we are allowed to have gaps.
Maybe I'm the only one, I don't know. But often I carry around this really unrealistic and unhealthy expectation that I should be able to tackle everything excellently, no matter if it's my first time or my fiftieth--but especially if it's my fiftieth. That's not how life works, though.
In a perfect world, we'd all be able to balance faith, fitness, marriage, parenthood, household, career, friendships, finances, self-care, and leisure. But life is always tipping the scales and changing the dynamics.
Sometimes extra attention is needed in a certain area for a certain amount of time, and this is going to create a gap in consistency AND performance for the other ones. Not everything in life can be like riding a bike--where you leave it for a season and then return to it just the same when you're ready.
(And if you could see how I struggle to climb onto my bike to ride with the kids these days, you'd understand why I question the validity of this statement even in the literal sense.)

Having a gap doesn't make you a failure. Having to start over doesn't make you a failure. Having to struggle back to a previous level of achievement doesn't make you a failure. Having things that you are not good at does not make you a failure.

Friends, we *have* to start giving ourselves grace in the gaps.
Change is normal.
Struggle is normal.
Imbalance is normal.
IMPERFECTION is normal.

It's why Jesus came: to fill ALL the gaps. (Ephesians 1:22-23)
You don't have to be perfect, because He already is.

Busy mama, His grace is sufficient to cover down for you when you're too tired to wake up for your morning Bible time.
Lovely woman, His grace is sufficient remind you of the most beautiful parts of you, even when the mirror lies.
Wife, He loves you.
Parent, He guides you.
Homemaker, He blesses you.
Professional, He establishes the work of your hands.
Friend, He is with you always.
Warrior, He is your strength.

(Crazy lady, He is your protection from the moose.)



So here's to your gaps. Today we celebrate them.

May we always seek to fill them with Grace.